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Someone Like Me Someone like Me
As you go through life and look for a prospective partner what is it that you look for? I have asked myself this question many times over the years and each time it seems there different answers to some parts yet certain things remain the same. It is interesting to see how people interact as they go through life. Some hate each other virtually on sight while others find ways to tolerate. Then there are those that seem best friends forever.
Many years ago I found myself as a match maker. In one part of the country a young man I had known for several years had never married. He was in his late 20’s not all that great looking, short, losing his hair…yet what he may have lacked in looks was so far exceeded by his nature of being a kind and good person. Most women could not see this diamond in the rough yet in another place many miles away there was a woman about the same age that while dealing with many issues within her family, remained patient and kind to all those around her. What I saw in her was a person that would truly appreciate my friend for who he was and think he was the greatest person on the face of the earth.
A meeting was arranged and it was love at first sight. It was a whirlwind romance and they were married in six months. It was so interesting to see how her gentle way caused this man to come out of his shell and go on to accomplish many great things in the service of helping others. I can never forget the look in her eyes as she looked at him. It was always with a smile and you would think he was a rock star. It not only made him feel like a man but it gave him confidence to know she believed in him. Yet how could I not mention the look in his eyes as well. He would just stare at her and smile when she walked across the room. To him there was no one as beautiful and wonderful as she. You could literally feel the energy between them. Many years later they remain happily married and so completely content with each other.
I have never played match maker since but when I think back to this couple it seems it was some sort of destiny that was meant to be and I just played a small part. As I think about this couple it makes me reflect on my own life and what is my destiny with regard to a partner in life. What are some fundamental things that I am looking for? In the most simple of terms I would say, someone like me…and what would that be? What could be considered most important in finding a partner in life? As that question is pondered a few thoughts come to mind as to what that would mean in defining myself.
Loyal – A person that would never put you down, even when joking with friends, who would never turn their back on you no matter how difficult things may be and simply viewed your motives always in the most positive way. To know as you go through the trials of life, no one hurts those you love or they have you to deal with. Honor – The ability to treat a person with special regard and make them feel special coupled with the desire to see your partner happy and treated as a person of great value. To cut the pie, smile and give them the bigger piece. Trust – Whether it is your word or with time spent apart a simple knowing that this partner in life will stay true only to you. That feeling of confidence to know when you walk across the room, they only have eyes for you. Communication – Willing to share thoughts and ideals to understand why we think the way we do. When a misunderstanding arises taking the time to share feelings, make allowances, and have the goal to make things right between you. Appearance - A commitment to health and staying fit so as to have the energy to enjoy life as well as the desire to be proud of oneself and have your mate be proud of you. Intelligence – The ability to think on deeper levels and have a conversation that challenges and makes you think about things you have never considered before. Spirituality – Thinking of ‘God’ in no way that religion defines. Not needing to pray to eat food and having the ability to think for yourself thus not requiring fear and guilt to assist you in knowing how to be a good person….Knowing how to listen to the person within. Perhaps an xjw? People- Having friends, family, pets that make your life interesting but at the same time preserving your personal identity and not being defined or controlled by those around you. Sexuality – Not sexually repressed, comfortable with your body, and understanding true intimacy is far more than just sex. Humor- The ability to laugh at your self, be goofy at times, tell a good joke, and enjoy the art of making someone laugh uncontrollably. Positive – Whether it be dealing with people, family or life looking at the positive and not dwelling on the negative. This especially applies as to how you look at each other. People either make excuses for why things cannot work or they find reasons to make progress in a positive direction. Two people cannot fail as long as they ‘find reasons’. Fun – It could just be a meal, night on the town, a road trip, or traveling to some exotic place, the simple requirement is to throw your self completely to the adventure at hand, be open to new experiences, willing to say, “I’ll try it.” All the while being open to doing something you may have never done before…except bungee jumping…no bungee jumping…
The things described above are basiy me. It took many years to come to these conclusions and as I think about the rest of my life I do not want to be a professional dater. I do not want to simply share moments with people that are too busy with work or family to have room for a full time person in their life. I do not want ‘friends with benefits’. I want someone that understands the importance of cultivating a friendship that helps you to understand and appreciate the person for who they are.
Now if you are still reading this far then perhaps you might have related to some of the comments above. If the observations made you angry, that was certainly not the intention. You might say it is a challenge of sorts. A challenge for you to look within yourself and explore if you might be this person I have looked for all my life. I want to look at you the way the young man mentioned earlier looked at her. I want you to see me the way she saw him. Is that too much to ask? You see I cannot settle for anything less and would happily live out the rest of my life single with friends, family and making a difference in the lives of others. So if you are not her then just know whoever you seek may be out there as well, you just have to keep your heart open. On the other hand if you relate to what is shared above please, please write me, as I cannot wait to meet you. You see,
I don’t want anyone…I want ‘someone like me’…
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